I guess the saying is true…if it’s worth having, it’s worth fighting for…
There are some things in life that you have complete control over…
And unfortunately 10 times more things that you have no control over at all…
But we have the right, and the privilege to choose how we respond to life’s most arduous tests and trials…
So in truth, we DO control our own destinies…life IS what we make it to be…
I choose to be happy, despite everything I’ve been through this past year, despite the haters, despite all the foolishness, despite…EVERYTHING…
With everything that has happened, and everything that is STILL happening…I wouldn’t change any of it for the world.
I’m the happiest I’ve ever been in my life…and I’m lovin every single minute of it.
Things that irk my nerves…
Being interrupted, being wrongly accused of things, whining, excessive yelling, two-faced-ness, text fighting, constant anger, discouragement…among other things…
The other day my boyfriend and I went to IHOP for breakfast and there was a young family sitting across from us. A young mom, dad, and grandmother all sat around while entertaining a restless two-year old in her high chair. Soon enough crayons and funny black and white pictures of dancing pancakes became old news, and she hopped right out of her high chair to run around the table where her parents and grandmother were seated. Her grandmother, who was slightly annoyed with this incessant “pitter patter,” quickly scooped up the little girl, and placed the girl on her grandmother’s lap. The mom then began to entertain the toddler, making her review her numbers and how to make them with her tiny little hands. The mom said, “Four! What does four look like?” The girl struggled for a while and looked to her mom desperately for help. The mom quickly showed her child, and the child followed suit. The little girl squealed in delight at her amazing accomplishment and said, “Look Daddy! Four!” The dad looked up with the biggest and proudest grin I have ever seen and said, “Yes baby! That’s four!”
How I wish I could be in that little girl’s shoes for one day…just one day. Then I can go back to being an adult…
A Songbird In Flight…
I live quite a complicated life…to say the least…despite how much you may think that my life is perfect and joyful all the time…
The pain that I have endured…the people that have shot me down…the “friends” that have stabbed me in the back…the people who said I was talentless and should stop singing all together…the many insecurities…are all only a microcosm of the emotional, mental, and even spiritual trials I have dealt with in my life. And you may never know when I’m going through…because I don’t say anything…because I never felt like it was right to…
In essence…am I a caged bird…
" I know why the caged bird sings, ah me,
When his wing is bruised and his bosom sore,--
When he beats his bars and he would be free;
It is not a carol of joy or glee,
But a prayer that he sends from his heart's deep core,
But a plea, that upward to Heaven he flings
I know why the caged bird sings!"
The sad thing about being caged, is that we are only restrained and repressed if we allow ourselves to be.
For some odd reason I always felt that I had to put on a smiling face all the time and act like everything was okay, especially when it was not. I have repressed my own feelings, put myself down, allowed others to walk all over me, allowed others to tell me that I am not worth anything in this world, all in order to keep the peace in my relationships, and also because I thought it was the right thing to do.
I had no idea just how much damage I was doing to myself.
I handcrafted my own cage, detaining myself in every way possible…
This past year I have learned more about myself and about life that I could have ever imagined. I have learned not to sweat the small stuff in life and to appreciate each day, each hour, each minute, and each second as it comes. I have learned to speak up for myself and not allow others to walk all over me all the time. I have learned to appreciate silence, and its ability to reguvenate and refresh the spirit for brand new sound. I have learned the unparalleled grace and mercy of God and that he is always a friend when all others cease to be. I have learned about true friendship, love, and respect through my family, my Joshua, and his family. All these things have I gained from this year, plus a million more.
But the thing I have learned the most is my self worth…
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."
I have spent too much time allowing fickle people to tell me who I am, where I was going, what I needed to be, and even how much I was worth…
But how can you confine, detain, restrict, repress, oppress, or even claim something that you, yourself, did NOT create?
This year I have been in the process of breaking down my cage…and it hasn’t been easy. I have cried so many nights, fought so many battles, and even lost friends along the way. But it was all worth it…
I’m not quite there yet…as there is always a new battle to fight. The funny thing about breaking down personal cages is that it’s a lot easier to build it, but takes a strong hard fight to break it down. But I am willing, I am ready, I am laughing, I am loving, and I can NOT what for all that God has in store for me in my future.
Tonight marks a brand new beginning for me in my life. People have asked me why this is such a big deal to me, it’s just a voice recital. But they don’t understand. My music is who I am, and is a reflection of everything I have been through in my life. When I repressed my feelings, music was my venue to express them, allowing a small glimmer of light to peer into my life.
So here I am, in the most vulnerable state of my life, ushering you in to every nook and cranny of my emotional, mental, and spiritual being. I present myself to you, and I thank all who are bound to attend, for taking the time to listen.
I can not wait to share my light and my life with all of you, and I hope that my performance tonight will not only inspire you, but serve as a reminder that with God, all things are possible.
I can truly call myself a Songbird, and tonight will be my first time flying…
RECITAL HAIRRRRRRRR CONTEST
MY RECITAL IS 1 MONTH AWAY!!!!
MY RECITAL IS 1 MONTH AWAY!!!!
MY RECITAL IS 1 MONTH AWAY!!!!
MY RECITAL IS 1 MONTH AWAY!!!!
As I stated previously, my recital is 1 month away, on April 14th at 7:30pm in the Ferguson Center for the Arts Music and Theater Hall. I have soooo much planning to do before then…like how I should wear my hair!! And since I’m a very indecisive human being I can’t choose! So here’s how I’m going to resolve the issue…
I’m having a RECITAL HAIR CONTEST!!!! Here are the directions:
- Click on the link provided below and choose your favorite hairstyle out of the bunch.
- Once you have done that go to my Facebook profile page (http://www.facebook.com/acjrme#!/lilmissmusic) or my twitter page (@Lilmissmimosa) and type in this message “I VOTED ON ADRIENNE JONES’ VOICE RECITAL HAIRSTYLE!!” and copy the link for this blog onto your post. (Make sure you do this or you will not be eligible to win the prize!!)
- Once you have done this YOU have entered into the contest to win a $25 iTunes gift card!!!!!
- The winner will be chosen from all participants in the poll in a drawing.
- The poll will close on Friday, April 1st at 11:59pm. Any entrants after that point will not be eligible to win.
- The winner of this contest will be announced on April 13th, and will receive the prize at the reception of my senior voice recital (right after the 7:30pm recital).
- I will not be revealing the nature of my dress (it’s TABOO!! LOL), however, I assure you that each of these hairstyles would go beautifully with it. The hairstyle with the most votes will be the one I will wear for my recital. This is a LIFE OR DEATH SITUATION…so choose wisely (lol!).
- If you have any comments, questions, or concerns (besides any about my dress) feel free to contact me on Facebook or Twitter.
- Here is the link for you to copy and paste: http://bit.ly/gu9uTw
- Here is the link for the poll: http://www.acepolls.com/polls/1191944-how-should-adrienne-wear-her-hair-for-her-senior-voice-recital
- And of course…COME TO MY RECITAL ON APRIL 14TH AT 7:30PM!!! :-)
So there it is!!! Fill out the poll!!! Do it now!!!
I can’t wait to see what you all choose!
Thanks in advance for your help!
Ohhhhhhhhhhhh MY GAH…..
My recital is 1 month and 14 days away….
That is all…
P.S. A second string of Recital Invitations goes out this morning!! If you would like one in the near future (no you don’t need an invitation to attend) then PLEASE email me at email@example.com, facebook message me, or direct message me on twitter with your name and home address (or school if you’re a student). THANKS!
"If you wanna be great in God’s Kingdom, learn to be a servant of all!" -Psalty the Songbook
Sooooooo! I found the most BEAUTIFUL dress online and TODAY I’m going to buy it!!!!!
I CAN’T WAIT!!!
I’m going to get my recital dress today!!!
This shall be such a stress reliever.
And most of all, I get to do something fun for myself!
Wish me luck!
Wanna know what it looks like???
COME TO MY RECITAL ON THURSDAY APRIL 14, 2011 IN THE FERGUSON CENTER MUSIC AND THEATER HALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (plug)
By the way…about a month from now I’m going to start a “How Should I Wear My Hair?” Contest. More details to follow.
OH HAPPY DAY!!!
I’m really…I don’t know.
I don’t know what to think right now…
I kinda felt this happening but refused to believe it.
I just…I don’t know. I don’t know what to think right now.
I need some alone time to figure this out…
I need this break… (uncertainty is a disease…)
I am seriously seriously seriously EXHAUSTED today. I don’t feel like getting ANY work done, even though I have a ton of work to do.
I am extremely frustrated. It seems like no matter how much work I do, more gets piled on and piled on. I have so many pointless assignments a.k.a. busy work that I truly DON’T care about. I just need a solid break from it all.
There is never a moment where I’m not reviewing the music in my head, on my ipod on the way to class while looking at the music (which is why i twisted my ankle the other day), or in my bedroom or the practice rooms for my upcoming recital. And I’m a little discouraged about it. No matter how hard I practice, I feel like I could never be 100% ready. I’m nervous I’ll mess up, forget a word, miss an entrance, or that my voice will crack on that high B-flat I have to sing on the very last piece. Should I change the key and make it lower? I know I can hit a B-flat beautifully and successfully, but what if it doesn’t come out right at the point that I’m supposed to sing it?? I’m so worried about it I have nightmares.
I need this break more than ever…
Maybe I just need to take some time to sleep in, relax, get a little bit of work done to catch up on the rest of this semester, and just chill…
I know I’m supposed to go recital dress shopping sometime this break. Maybe that will make me a little bit more encouraged and excited about this recital process. Cuz right now I’m just so stressed out about it…
I’m so stressed out about everything.